Thank you so much mama Sarah.

Save the Best for Last ....

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
sometimes It's all a big surprise
'cause there was a time when all I did was wish
you'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
but some how it's enough
and now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
just when I thought our chance had passed
you go and save the best for last
all of the nights you came to me
when some silly girl had set you free
you wondered how you'd make it through
I wondered what was wrong with you
'cause how could you give your love to someone else
and share your dreams with me
sometimes the very thing you're looking for
is the one thing you can't see
but now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
just when I thought our chance had passed
you'd go and save the best for last
sometimes the very thing you're looking for
is the one thing you can't see
sometimes the snow comes down in june
sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
just when I thought our chance had passed
you'd go and save the best for last
you went and saved the best for last



P/s: And...can you guess to who I'm dedicating this song to?

Today is my birthday. Since I started blogging a couple of years ago, I always try to have an entry, and in all of my birthday entries, I always try to reveal just a little bit more of myself. For those who came to the Hari Raya gathering, they would know who Pycno is by now, but they were ALL made to take the Lord Baden Powell’s oath never to reveal Pycno’s identity, for reasons already made known to them. My good friends, you too will all get to know me sooner or later. It’s just that, for now, I still am not prepared to reveal my true identity in blog land. In short, Pycno lebih senang mengenali anda semua di alam nyata, bukan di alam maya. Di alam cyber ini, biarlah Pycno terus ber -RAHSIA……………………….

Having said that, I’m pretty sure you already know me from reading some, if not all of my entries and my comments too, at some of your sites. This year, let me share with you some of my traits that I’ve extracted from a couple of sites describing about people born under this star sign CANCER, and that is me. ;)

“CANCER is the fourth sign of the zodiac and is ruled by the Moon. CANCER is the most sensitive sign and is the strongest of the water signs. The changes in the Moon, CANCERS ruling planet, affect them at every moment of their life. Like the Moon and like the force of water, they can exert an amazing yet undetectable power over others. The Moon via Water combo can be likened to the shifting tides of the oceans. Like the tides, CANCER is the sign of powerful forces moving under the surface. That surface, however, is quite difficult to penetrate, for CANCERIANS tend to build up an elaborate array of defenses to hide their deep feelings and extreme sensitivity.

CANCERS are easily hurt by the slights of others. These are very complex people, sometimes appearing extremely strong and at other times to be as vulnerable as a child. Very few people ever really understand CANCERS; therefore they never receive the necessary understanding from others. CANCERS individuals are intelligent, organized, generous, and tenacious. CANCERS needs constant support and encouragement. They want desperately to be loved and approved of but resent needing approval so badly. When they get what they need, they give the best they have in return. When a CANCER really care for someone there is nothing anyone can say about that person that will make the least bit of difference. People may pour their hearts out to a CANCER, but the flow never goes in the other direction. They guard their secrets well.

CANCER'S symbol, the crab, has a hard outer shell that protects soft, vulnerable flesh underneath. The same is true of CANCERIANS, who are often crusty, gruff and grumpy, but possess a proverbial heart of gold. Beneath their tough exterior they are a sentimental softy who will make any sacrifice for someone in need. CANCERS are devoted to family and home and continue to believe in the old fashioned idea that marriage is forever, even if the events of their own life contradict this. It is hard to deceive a CANCER, for they can spot the tiniest subtle variations of behavior. In fact, they are almost psychic in their intuitions. A photographic memory added to intense powers of observation makes them extremely cautious about divining other people's inner motivations.

If channeled in the right direction, the CANCERS enormous sensitivity can be a great source of strength. Once they overcome their touchiness and master their turbulent emotions, their intellect and imagination enable them to become a success in almost anything they undertake.

The CANCER lover is extremely romantic and passionate people. They enjoy all the traditional rituals of wooing and winning a sweetheart and usually opt for marriage or a long-term relationship. They make loyal mates and will champion their spouse's career and expect the same in return. These individuals are intensely attuned to the needs and wants of their partner; they are exceptionally sensitive lovers. A CANCERIAN never gets enough love and approval; they always need more. It is very easy to fall in love with this loyal, devoted, affectionate, and protective Moonchild.

The CANCER friend with their gentle and caring spirit, CANCERIANS are the ones to whom others turn with problems, worries and life choice concerns. Despite their ability to support and nurture their pals, they do not make friends easily. This may be because they take friendship seriously and don't bother to indulge in superficial associations. They are often shy people who wait for friendships to develop instead of actively pursuing them. In general, CANCER likes friends who will support his or her emotional and financial needs when necessary and CANCER will reciprocate.

At another site, CANCER has been described as:

In the Sign of Cancer the heavens are developing the feeling side of things. This is what a true Cancerian is all about - feelings. Where Aries will tend to err on the side of action, Taurus on the side of inaction and Gemini on the side of thought, Cancer will tend to err on the side of feeling.
Cancerians tend to mistrust logic. Perhaps rightfully so. For them it is not enough for an argument or a project to be logical - it must feel right as well. If it is does not feel right a Cancerian will reject it or chafe against it. The phrase 'follow your heart' could have been coined by a Cancerian, because it describes exactly the Cancerian attitude to life.
The power to feel is a more direct - more immediate - method of knowing than thinking is. Thinking is indirect. Thinking about a thing never touches a thing itself. Feeling is a faculty that touches directly the thing or issue in question. We actually experience it. Emotional feeling is almost like another sense which humans possess - a psychic sense. Since the realities that we come in contact with during our lifetime are often painful and even destructive, it is not surprising that the Cancerian chooses to erect barriers - a shell - to protect his or her vulnerable, sensitive nature. To a Cancerian this is only common sense.
If Cancerians are in the presense of people they do not know, or find themselves in a hostile environment, up goes the shell and they feel protected. Other people often complain about this, but one must question these other people's motives. Why does this shell disturb them? Is it perhaps because they would like to sting, and feel frustrated that they cannot? If your intentions are honourable and you are patient, have no fear. The shell will open up and you will be accepted as part of the Cancerian's circle of family and friends.
Thought-processes are generally analytic and dissociating. In order to think clearly we must make distinctions, comparisons and the like. But feeling is unifying and integrative.
To think clearly about something you have to distnace yourself from it. To feel something you must get close to it. Once a Cancerian has accepted you as a friend he or she will hang on. You have to be really bad to lose the friendship of a Cancerian. If you are related to Cancerians they will never let you go no matter what you do. They will always try to maintain some kind of connection even in the most extreme circumstanses.

Finance
The Cancer-born has a deep sense of what other people feel about things and why they feel as they do. This faculty is a great asset in the workplace and in the business world. Of course it is also idispensable in raising a family and building a home, but it also has its uses in business. Cancerians often attain great wealth in a family type of business. Even if the business is not a family operation, they will treat it as one. If the Cancerian works for somebody else, then the boss is the parental figure and the co-workers are brothers and sisters. If a Cancerian is the boss, then all the workers are his or her children.Cancerians like the feeling of being providers for others. They enjoy knowing that others derive their sustenance because of what they do. It is another form of nurturing.
With Leo on their Solar 2nd House (of Money) cusp, Cancerians are often lucky speculators, especially with residental property or hotels and restaurants. Resort hotels and nightclubs are also profitable for the Cancerian. Waterside propeties allure them. Though they are basically conventional people, they sometimes like to earn their livelihood in glamorous ways.
The Sun, Cancer's Money Planet, represents an important financial message: in finacial matters Cancerians need to be less moody, more stable and fixed. They cannot allow their moods - which are here today and gone tomorrow - to get in the way of their business lives. They need to develop their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth if they are to realize their greatest financial potential.

Career and Public Image
Aries rules the 10th Solar House (of Career) cusp of Cancer, which indicates that Cancerians long to start their own business, to be more active publicly and politically and to be more independent. Family responsibilities and fear of hurting other people's feelings - or getting hurt themselves - often inhibit them from attaining these goals. However, this is what they want and long to do.
Cancerians like their bosses and leaders to act freely and to be a bit self-willed. They can deal with that in a superior. Cancerians expect their leaders to be fierce on their behalf.
When the Cancerians is in the position of boss he or she behaves very much like a 'warlord'. Of course the wars they wage are not egocentric but in defence of those under their care. If they lack some of this fighting instinct - independence and pioneering spirit - Cancerians will have extreme difficulty in attaining their highest career goals. They will be hampered in their attempts to lead others.
Since they are so parental, Cancerians like to work with children and make great educators and teachers.

Love and Relationships
Like Taurus, Cancer likes commited relatonships. Cancerians function best when the relationships is clearly defined and everyone knows his or her role. When they marry it is usually for life. They are extremely loyal to their beloved. The family is the ultimate end for them.
If you are in love with a Cancerian you must tread lightly on his or her feelings. It will take you a good deal of time to realize how deep and sensitive Cancerians can be. The smallest negativity upsets them. Your tone voice, your irritation, a look in your eye, an expression on your face can cause great distress for the Cancerian. Your slightest gesture is registered by them and reacted to. This can be hard to get used to, but stick by your love - Cancerians make great partners once you learn how to deal with them. Your Cancerian lover will react not so mich to what you say but to the way you are actually feeling at the moment.

Home and Domestic Life
This is where Cancerians really excell. The home environment and the family are their personal works of art. They strive to make things of beauty that will outlast them. Very often they succeded.
Cancerians feel very close to their family, their relatives and especially their mothers. These bonds last throughout their lives and mature as they grow older. They are very fond of those members of their family who become successful, and they are also quite attached to family heirlooms and mementos. Cancerians also love children and like to provide them with all the things they need and want. With their nurturing, feeling nature, Cancerians make very good parents - especially the Cancerian woman, who is the mother par excellence of the Zodiac.
As a parent the Cancerian's attitude is 'my children right or wrong'. Unconditional devotion is the order of the day. No matter what a family member does, the Cancerian will eventually forgive him or her, because 'you are, after all, family'. The preservation of the institution - the tradition - of the family is one of the Cancerian's main reasons for living. They have many lessons to teach others about it.
Being so family- orientated, the Cancerian's home is always clean, orderly and comfortable. They like old-fashioned furnishing but they also like to have all the modern comforts. Cancerians love to have family and friends over, to organize parties and to entertain at home - they make great hosts.

Honestly, I find the above description so very amazing. I could not have come up with a better description of the things that are close to my heart, the things that can make me happy and sad, things that I can tolerate and things that I just cannot stand.

Lastly, thank you all for the kind wishes. I’m still waiting for another son to come home. Guess celebration will have to be postponed till tomorrow. :(

A Bag of Mixed Thoughts

It's been more than a month since my last entry. I guess without me realising, I was on a pause mode (ikelah, penyakit berjangkit ke?). I've been very busy of late. That's an excuse really; if you want to do something, you'll always try to find time to do it anyway. But at least, I've been leaving comments, haven't I? :))

The reason for my busy-ness lately is because there have been a surge of new faces at the place where I work (if I work, that is). So, I've been entrusted to guide these newbies around their new surroundings. My second son is also a freshie at the matriculation center, and I really do hope that he's doing fine adjusting himself to the new environment. Of course, there would be the weekly visits to see my two children at the boarding school as well as keeping a watchful eye on my eldest son (belajar ke budak tu, atau apa dah dia buat?)

I was also back to visit my mother at the kampung. This, would of course, be my routine visit. It's difficult for her to come to Kuala Lumpur now, with her age. And now, every time I come back to visit her, she will always cry.

I thought of repairing her house, just to make it a bit more comfortable for her. Work is already on its way. So I guess for the next couple of months, my trips back to my kampung will more frequent.

Actually, with my age, it's tiring to be doing all of this. Not to say that I'm old, but still...with the amount of things I'm doing, I rather doubt it that anyone would still feel energetic if they were to step in my shoes. But I've been taking supplements and that really helps.

As you could figure out, the only child left staying with me and bea is the youngest "Elvis". I still send and fetch him from school, as well as the tuition center twice a week. With none of the children at home except for Elvis (fancy that, we're parents of that legendary American heart-throb!), bea has had more time to clean up the mess that is our home. But still, even the youngest one can surprisingly be good at messing things up, so bea's shrill at the little one can still be heard, eventhough the rest aren't at home.

There would be weekends where the elder brothers and sisters will come home - usually to do the laundry. Of course, during these rare occasions, bea would be inspired to cook. Somehow, it's just not appealing to her to cook for only three people in the house.

This *short* ranting of no significance whatsoever is due to the guilty feeling I'm holding inside for not having updated for so long. Okay, I'm going off now to see my boarding school children. We're going to have lunch together today and bea is already calling from downstairs. See you!